Herd Approval  and Safety?

It is a basic safety response for any individual to stay close to the herd, for security against any threats. But if the herd is itself, running towards danger, then the wise move, would be to step back and reconsider this routine attachment to the herd.

Relationships have changed across the world now, with many people pressured by what the rest of ‘the herd’ seems to be doing, in a most unhealthy way, with the potential to pressure people to mimic and conform to behaviour which is guaranteed to make them unhappy - seeking temporary ‘fun’ instead of long-term peace and happiness.

No wonder the majority of our Young People are unhappy, depressed and anxious – craving ‘fun’ as a temporary escape from their incessant unhappy thoughts, in quiet moments.

Teenage years have always been a time of uncertainty and hesitation, but Social Media exaggerates this uncertainty in a misleading way that is not the truth.

Addictive for Everyone



The people who invented the Apps for mobile phones, deliberately designed them to be addictive, and even they were surprised at how successful they proved to be. Mobile phones have become a major part of the life of most people, especially the Younger Generation.

Feel good -'candies' of Dopamine are leading you ...  but where?

Use of Social media is particularly designed to give you a rush of dopamine - the 'feel-good hormone'

But is this desire for such a 'happy buzz' leading you into a place you don't want to go?

Pressure To Conform

The effects of social media are to pressure you to conform to the normal values of the group - which may not be healthy, or what you would choose.

Let us consider some of the pressures on those who engage with Social Media platforms:

1.     The Highlight Reel

Happy people don’t need to parade their life, their photos, and all their private business,  to the public to gain approval from strangers.

On Social media, everyone presents their best photos and moments onto a public platform, projecting a happy and enjoyable life. But why do they need to do this?

They show no negatives, or down-side to life, only wonderful happiness.

For people whose life is normal, and even difficult, seeing this display of highlights presented as routine by others, makes them feel even worse about their life, imagining that they are inferior and deficient somehow.

In truth, nobody’s life is like the Highlight Reel, and those who are frequently seeking and displaying ‘fun’ moments, are in fact unhappy themselves, needing the approval of others.

Following these ‘attractive’ images into drugs, alcohol, partying and casual sex, will only make you as unhappy as they are, and needing even more 'likes'.

2.    Your Social Currency

To measure yourself and your value, in public, according to the opinions and likes of strangers, is unhealthy, and obliges to you conform to other people, or else feel bad about yourself.

On Social Media platforms, there is considerable pressure for you to conform to the ‘herd’ norms. If you get likes and reposts, you get a Dopamine rush, and feel good and accepted by others, and if you don’t, you feel rejected and unliked.

But if your values and views are different from the collective group, you can expect to be ignored or bullied.

So this Dopamine rush, is making you conform to the values and often unhealthy behaviour of others.

This 'measuring of yourself' by the opinions of others in such a public way, is unwise and dangerous.

"People only have as much power over you, as you give them!"

3.     FOMO – Fear of Missing Out

-         To not be in touch with your contact group on Social Media for any significant time, causes anxiety in case something significant has happened, or you have been mentioned in any way on a public platform.

-         Such fear causes insecurity and inferiority, as we imagine the worse, so our Mobile Phone will be quickly checked if we have been away from the public

platform for any length of time.

When combined with little physical contact with friends and associates, the Social Media platform can become your main contact with the rest of the world, so approval on such a public platform can become important to your self-esteem, and sense of worth.

Some Steps to Resist the Peer Pressure of Social Media:

a)     Recognise the unreal and unfair pressure on you, and the direction in which you are being pushed for acceptance.

b)     Develop a strong image of how special and unique you are. We all have different strengths ... so what are you measuring yourself against?

You are: ‘the one and only’ - you.

Find friends of a similar thinking to you, and encourage each others

Be More Attractive > Be More Private?

d)     Be aware that to be more private and mysterious, is much more intriguing and attractive to people.

Whereas, when everyone knows all your business, you lose intrigue and respect, also freedom to be yourself, without being judged and pressured.

e)     You could still use Social Media to obtain news updates, but recognise the false ‘Highlight Reel’ and the insecurity of those who need to gain approval from others often.

Swim against the Flow

f)      You don’t really need ‘likes’ from unhappy insecure people, who just want you to be like them.



Instead, you can enjoy the superiority and security of knowing that God appreciates, guides and protects you, when you engage with Him.

Placing the approval of other people, above what you know God and your Conscience guide you towards, is to serve an Idol that you serve instead of God – which will always cause you to lose your peace.

Instead, be always guided by your heart – God’s Mobile Phone – by Conscience, Inspirations and inner Knowing ...and resist the enticing 'candies' which lead you to conform to the herd’s Peer Pressure norms, since they will cause you to lose your happiness and peace.

People only have as much power over you, as you give them. Don’t give them power over you.

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