FREEDOM FROM SOCIAL MEDIA

Herd Approval and Safety?

It is a basic safety response for any individual to stay close to the herd, for security against any threats. But if the herd is itself, running towards danger, then maybe the wise move, would be to step back and reconsider this routine attachment to the herd. The question is, will this make me happy?

But if "Fun" is your replacement for "Happiness" and peace, then you are looking in the wrong place, and short term bahaviour can make you very unhappy about yourself.

Looking for happiness in the wrong place - fun can be from drugs or alcohol, casual sex, or whatever gives us a temporary high - including 'likes' on Facebook or Instagram.

But Fun does not replace or bring Happiness !!

All these fun activities can have a very unhappy effect and leave us feeling much worse about ourselves.

Social media and peer pressure causing unhappy relationships.

After thousands of years of normal relationships, now that sex with several partners results in no pregnancy (usually), relationships have become confusing and dangerous for people's happiness.

Relationships have changed across the world now, with many people pressured by what the rest of ‘the herd’ seems to be doing, with Media and Peer Pressure for people to copy and conform to behaviour - seeking temporary ‘fun’ instead of long-term peace and happiness.

Fun is wonderful, and has its place in stable family life, including holidays, weekend treats and celebrations.

Addictive for Everyone

The people who invented the Apps for mobile phones, deliberately designed the Apps to be addictive, and even they were surprised at how successful they proved to be.

Mobile phones have become a major part of the life of most people, especially the Younger Generation.

Social Media exaggerates Peer Pressure to conform to the herd - despite our preferred conduct.

However Young People are starting to see through the unhappy confusion to want real happiness and confident self-esteem with their own behaviour boundaries.

Boundaries are a protection, not a restriction!

Feel good -'candies' of Dopamine are leading you ...  but where?

Use of Social media is particularly designed to give you a rush of dopamine - the 'feel-good hormone'

But is this desire for such a 'happy buzz' pressuring you into a place you don't want to go?

Pressure To Conform

The effects of social media are to pressure you to conform to the normal values of the group - which may not be healthy, or what you would choose.

Unfair Pressures from Social Media platforms:

1.     The Highlight Reel

Happy people don’t need to parade their life, their photos, and all their private business,  to the public to gain approval from total strangers.

On Social media, everyone presents their best photos and moments onto a public platform, projecting a happy and enjoyable life. But why do they need to do this?

They show no negatives, or down-side to life, only wonderful happiness.

For people whose life is normal, and especially if it is difficult, seeing this display of highlights presented as "routine" by others, makes them feel even worse about their life, imagining that they are inferior and deficient somehow.

In truth, nobody’s life is like the Highlight Reel, and those who are frequently seeking and needing to display their ‘fun’ moments, are in fact unhappy themselves, needing the approval of others. Mature adults don't need to do this.

Following these ‘attractive’ images into drugs, alcohol, partying and casual sex, will only make you as unhappy and insecure as they are, and needing even more 'likes'.

2.    Your Social Currency

To measure yourself and your value, in public, according to the opinions and likes of strangers, is unhealthy, and obliges to you conform to other people, or else feel bad about yourself. It is quite a trap to get yourself into.

On Social Media platforms, there is considerable pressure for you to conform to the ‘herd’ norms. If you get likes and reposts, you get a Dopamine rush, and feel good and accepted by others, and if you don’t, you feel rejected and unliked.

But if your values and views are different from the collective group, you can expect to be ignored or bullied.

So this Dopamine rush comes at a cost, and makes you conform to the values and unhealthy behaviour of others.

This 'measuring of yourself' by the opinions of others in such a public way, is unwise and dangerous for your happiness.

"People only have as much power over you, as you give them!"

3.     FOMO – Fear of Missing Out

-         To not be in touch with your contact group on Social Media for any significant time, often causes anxiety in case something significant has happened, or you have been mentioned in any way on a public platform.

-         Such fear causes insecurity and inferiority, as we imagine the worse, so our Mobile Phone will be quickly checked if we have been away from the public

platform for any length of time.

When combined with little physical contact with friends and associates, the Social Media platform can become your main contact with the rest of the world, so approval on such a public platform can become important to your self-esteem, and sense of worth.

Some Steps to Resist the Peer Pressure of Social Media:

a)     Recognise the unreal and unfair pressure on you, and the direction in which you are being pushed to be accepted.

b)     Develop a strong image of how special and unique you are. We all have different strengths, you too ... so what different person are you measuring yourself against?

You are: ‘the one and only’ - you.

Find friends of similar thinking to you, and encourage each other

To Be More Attractive > Be More Private?

d)     Be aware that to be more private and mysterious, is much more intriguing and attractive to people.

Whereas, when everyone knows all your business, you lose intrigue and respect, and may try harder to get more 'likes'.

e)     You can still use Social Media to get news updates, but disengage from needing the approval of others to feel good about yourself.

Recognise the false ‘Highlight Reel’ and the insecurity of those who need to gain approval from others  so   often.

A bit pathetic really, don't you think?

Swim against the Flow

f)      Do you really need ‘likes’ from unhappy insecure people, who just want you to be like them? Probably not.

Instead, you can enjoy the superiority and security of knowing that God appreciates, guides and protects you, when you engage with Him.

Placing the approval of other people, above what you know God and your Conscience guide you towards, is to serve an idol instead of God – which will always cause you to lose your peace.

Instead, be always guided by your heart – God’s Mobile Phone – by your Conscience, Inspirations and inner Knowing ...and resist the enticing 'candies' which lead you to conform to the herd’s Peer Pressure norms, since they will cause you to lose your happiness and peace.