RELATIONSHIPS HAVE THE GREATEST POTENTIAL FOR

INFLUENCE UPON YOU ... AND BY YOU ON OTHERS

RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS

You have unique talents and strengths,and only you can influence those particular people placed around you in the unique way you can.

The Creator caused you to be born when and where you were born, with those same parents – good or bad, and for your influences from people – good or bad, which can shape you.

Unfortunately, along the way, your choices may have stalled God’s Plan for you, but His Blueprint for your life is still in place, ready for you to re-engage with it.

Today too, you have choices – to bring wisdom and guidance into all your relationships, to treat others as you would like to be treated, and be an influence for good against a river of selfishness, hurt and sadness.

‘Listen to Life’ – and see what God is showing you with situations around you. Always treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

Then, 'what goes around, comes around' - kindness to you too.

As the saying goes: You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.

As young children we are all very much influenced by the family and teachers we interact with.

Until the age of about 3yrs, children tend to focus on themselves, and learning to share and kindness to our peers develops after that time… usually!

A happy childhood in which we have a stable family group who are kind and nurturing is ideal, but trauma, emotional or physical abuse in childhood can have a crippling effect on this development, with fear becoming predominant at a young age. Fear and love are antagonistic, and they each undo each other.

Parent-child love is usually very strong and self-sacrificing. Divorce however, is a major emotional blow to the whole family, and evidence suggests that many young children of divorced parents are ‘broken-hearted’ – a similar condition to PTSD from overwhelming emotional trauma.

A very large study (Adhealth) found that the most significant protective factor for teenagers, to resist behaviour risk factors like: drugs, alcohol, sexual initiation or gangs, was increased parent-child contact time. With reduced parent-child time spent, peer pressure and exposure to risk factors increases dramatically.

Of course this protective influence can be reduced by either the parent not being available due to work commitments; or else the teen can resent parental input and isolate themselves from the life experience and wisdom of their parents.

Our peers have a significant influence on us as we grow up.

In the 1950’s, before the sexual revolution which came with the contraceptive pill in the early 60’s, there was no distinct Teenage Culture. Innocent-minded adolescents were simply 'Young Adults in training' .

Today teens are increasingly encouraged to be

‘Young Adults with no boundaries' from Media influences and peer pressure.

However, 'Boundaries are a Protection, not a Restriction' and the Conscience still causes you to lose your peace.

Social media also greatly reduces personal interaction with parents in the home, and the addictive  ‘Dopamine Buzz’ from ‘likes’ and affirmation on Social Media, greatly increases pressure on vulnerable individuals to conform to peer pressure values and risk factor behaviour.

Within our life journey, frequently a particular conversation with a relative, a family friend, or a random conversation with a stranger, can have a surprisingly awakening effect on your viewpoint and values, going forward.

Sex Blinds Courtship

In the marriage setting, a major benefit of sexual intimacy ‘making love’, is that it re-bonds the couple so that they overlook the faults of their partner. ‘Love covers’  as they say.

BUT, when this sexual dynamic is brought into courtship – your search for a long-term life partner, the ‘blindness to their faults’ can often lead to overlooking major problems and incompatible couples…. Finally then, breaking up after several years saying: “What was I thinking – he/she’s always been like this!”

So best to keep sex out of courtship, since it clouds your search for your perfect ‘soul mate’.

The Marriage Bond, is the height of the love experience between two people, when they give all of themselves, and their best efforts - with trust and generosity, to the relationship.

Divorce then, is particularly devastating for most people.

"That Was Your Fault!" ... Ruins a Happy Moment

In any relationship or meeting of people, we must watch out for ‘The Accuser’ turning up to spoil things.

A friendly gathering may be happening, maybe even a Date Night between a couple, but when one person accuses another of ANYTHING, the atmosphere immediately changes into something much more negative:

“It's all your fault...!"; “You made a mess of that didn’t you!”; “You are rubbish at that …!”

THEN, the happy smiley atmosphere is lost and it is difficult to get it back. An argument usually ensues, or at least a sullen silence. So always watch out for ‘The Accuser’ entering your conversations, and try to stop immediately the negative direction, before the day is spoiled.

In the Bible, Jesus called the devil ‘The Accuser’ as a warning - so we would more readily identify when he was at work, trying to cause division and unforgiveness between people.

The opposite of resentment and accusation, is love and forgiveness – treat others as you would like to be treated. Love covers a multitude of sins.